A dollop of daisy

These would be awesome if condoms were a real thing...

via www.buzzfeed.com

But I Was Always Told Not to Use Teeth. So Confused...

via gizmodo.com

Yes, you're seeing that right...

It's a fake beer can. With a rubber fanged vampire mouth. And you're supposed to put your penis inside of it.

Giving new meaning to "I want to suck your..." Oh nevermind.

Daisy Does the 49ers: Texas Clobbers SF - SFist

via sfist.com

Hmmmm SFist... "Clobbers" feels a little harsh, but I guess I can live with it. ;)

Anyway, check out my latest super-depressing 49ers post at SFist. Hopefully they'll win one day soon and I can go back to be funny.

Houston Texans Had No Idea Who Alex Smith Was

"I didn't know who the guy was when he came out," said Texans defensive end Mario Williams, the No. 1 pick in the 2007 draft. "I really didn't. . . . He definitely managed the game for them. He was getting rid of the ball and moving the ball."

 

 

Said cornerback Dunta Robinson, "We were zeroed in on one guy (Hill) for so long, and then you put in a guy who has absolutely nothing to lose. He's going to throw it up and do whatever he can to make sure he's going to stay on the field."

 

Robinson said he knew Smith's identity, but everybody in the huddle was asking, "Who's No. 11? I think it threw our game off a bit. I didn't get to explain it to them, but now I think they all know who 11 is."

 

This is my favorite. It comes from Houston linebacker Zac Diles. "I was like, '11?' It's been so long since he's had any game time that we didn't even scout him last week. Everybody was like, 'New quarterback.' I was like, 'Smith? Smith?' I had to remember his first name, too. Alex Smith. But he came in and did his job."

via blog.pressdemocrat.com

Kind of amazing. I mean, the guy was the NUMBER ONE DRAFT PICK in 2005.

The Magic Mouse: "You touch it and instantly appreciate how good it feels in your hand"

via www.apple.com

The Magic Mouse is so the new "back massager."

Here's why:

Perfect for MULTIPLE gestures: "Make one great gesture after another."

It lets you "click" anywhere.

The ENTIRE SURFACE is a button.

"Run your fingers vertically... or scroll a full 360 degrees."

"Inside Magic Mouse is a chip that tells it exactly what you want to do. It even knows when you’re just resting your hand on it."

"So smart it can sense how many fingers you're using and how you're using them."

"A quick flick of the on/off switch helps conserve battery power while Magic Mouse is tucked in your bag. Even when it’s on, Magic Mouse manages power efficiently, by detecting periods of inactivity automatically."