oopsie daisy

Wondering how to show that special someone you care?

A guy I'm hanging out with texted me last night to inform me that after an evening of hot tubbing and booze, he valiantly* turned down an offer of a threesome. Additionally, he let me know that this was the first time in his life he'd ever refused to have sex with a "bikini-clad girl."

I'm sharing this story so that the guys out there realize it's not always about chocolate and flowers and jewelry. Forget theatre tickets and weekend getaways and six-course candlelight dinners....

Now all you have to do to seduce a girl is turn down a hot tub threesome and then tell her all about it! If that doesn't make her swoon**, well... then, to be honest, you probably should've just gone ahead with the threesome.

So, now you know. And... You're welcome.

(*my addition)

(**in this instance "swoon" = "put out," but I think/hope you knew that)

Fortunately for Him (and Me, I Suppose), He's Hot

I'm getting ready in the bathroom this morning wearing a pair of white linen pants and a black bra when the boy I'm seeing says, "I like those pants."

I reply, "Really?" because thus far in the morning he's criticized my artwork (or lack thereof), my choice of soap (bar, and not fancy), and the absence of dowels (to hold up the window so he can smoke cigarettes at 8:45 a.m.)... all in a ten minute time frame.

"Yeah," he says. "I like them... Now I'm just waiting to see how you fuck them up with your top."

And people wonder why I drink.