Because I'm super mature and terrified of committment (even though I've totally been going steady with Campfriend for a year tomorrow - my longest relationship EVER, which is maybe something I shouldn't brag about, but it's true, so whatever: Happy Anniversary to ME (also: us)), every time CF and I are somewhere that could potentially be viewed as romantic and "special" (Does putting it in quotes imply that it IS retarded or that it's not retarded? I don't know.), I tell him he is under NO circumstances allowed to propose there.
It's a really good strategy and so far, working amazingly well. If he even gets starry-eyed somewhere for one second, I put the kabash on any down-on-one-knee action. (Oddly (not really), he's never ruled out a single location for down-on-two-knees action, but I digress.)
To elucidate my point, I will now provide you with a list of places I've informed Campfriend he is not allowed to ask for my hand in marriage:
- Tahoe: The mountains, including, but not limited to: The summit of Alpine Meadows, the Ice Bar at Alpine Meadows, any tree runs at Alpine Meadows etc.
- Tahoe: The Lake
- The beach (just, you know: ANY beach)
- Golden Gate Park
- Twin Peaks (You can't get engaged at the same place where you used to get stoned in high school.)
- Bodega Bay Harbour
- By a campfire
- My apartment
- Any place in Menocino County
- Ditto for Humboldt County
- Perry's (Those half-pice bottles of wine nights can get rowdy. YOU NEVER KNOW, PEOPLE. YOU NEVER KNOW.)
- The Palace of Fine Arts (One time in high school, I might have gone swimming in the lagoon. I'd tell you not to judge me, except, ew. Judge me.)
- Any hike we've ever gone on (You know. All three of them.)
- Grocery Store Parking Lots (covering my bases people!)
- I think you probably get the idea...
(Don't worry; I didn't even have to rule out 49ers games. Can you imagine what would happen if he proposed during half time and then we lost the game? Thrown beer. Returned rings. Violent threats. Worst. Engagement. EVER.)
And yes, I get that it's totally obnoxious of me to 1. Rule out proposal locations when we've only been dating a year and 2. Assume that he'd be crazy enough to even want to marry me in the first place, but WHATEVER BECAUSE HE TOTALLY DOES. I think. Maybe. One day. When Hell Freezes Over.
Anyway, all of this is a super long-winded way of getting to this: